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Escape Velocity Needed to Break Free from UPA

Escape Velocity Needed to Break Free from UPA

Rahulji has done it again. After the 'Nonsense' comment from which he got a lot of respect from his followers, especially Diggy for matching his language, he has spoken about Escape Velocity for Dalits to achieve success. An inspired discussion allegedly took place in his office after the statement hit the air. Here is the imagined conversation :

Diggy : Rahulji aap tho kamaal kar diye!.. What a statement.. The entire media is buzzing with that statement, everyone is going through Chemistry books to figure out what is 'Escape Velocity'.. Wow..

Ajay Maken : Diggy Bhai, it is not Chemistry, I think it is about Geography, because he mentioned about Escape Velocity of Jupiter, so, it means something to do with geography..

Diggy :May be, whatever.. I bet, Rahulji, this is the second best statement after the 'Nonsense' statement of yours a few days ago.. Sir, you are really catching up and I think the party should announce you as PM candidate.

Jairam : Guys, it all about Physics.. I think I had read about it many years ago when I was in school.

Diggy : Oh, Physiques!.. Well, we are all well versed with it!..

Jairam : Not Physiques, PHYSICS..

Maken : Ok, whatever.. You cannot escape from both either.. Well, the point now is, people, including media guys will ask questions about Escape Velocity and we need to find out what exactly it means, to answer them..

Diggy : Ok, Maken, you are managing the media cell and you can find out from Google isn't it?.. Now lets prepare to face comments from the opposition parties..

Rahul : What are they saying ? Did they understand what I meant at all ?..

Diggy : I don't know that, but they are saying that the country needs the Escape Velocity of a 'Black Hole' to break free from the Corrupt UPA government.. I am wondering what that hole is..

Maken : It could be the potholes of Delhi streets where vehicles do Belly dance to avoid them but yet fall into them..

Rahul : Even I do not know what that hole is about..

Jairam : No, no.. You guys are again wrong.. Even BJP guys have read Physics books.. It is again related to Physics.

Diggy : Well, do we need to study the entire Physics text books to answer questions now ?..

Maken (Interrupting..): Here it is.. I found out from Google.. Escape Velocity of Black Hole is the maximum.. It is equal to speed of light..

Rahul : What is speed of light? Is it more than the speed at which me and Vadra ride our bikes ?..

Diggy (breaking-in) : I think Rahulji could have used a Desi example rather than an Alien one..

Rahul : Well, its not my fault.. Call the script writer.. He should have been more sensible not to put me in trouble again. After the 'Nonsense' comments, Mummy scolded me for using harsh words against the PM who has been so loyal and tolerating all humiliations for the past 9 and half years.. I do not know whether she will scold me again for this one too..

Maken : No, sir.. this statement is not harsh after all..

Diggy : Well, Rahulji, I have an idea!.. Please say something more controversial so that BJP and the media forget this one and take-up the new one!...

Maken : Brilliant!.. Diggy Bhai, you are genius par excellence!.. And the statement should a 'Desi' one so that we all can understand it..

Diggy : That's right, Gimme a minute, I will tell you what you can say.. (Thinking for a while)..

Diggy : Sir, how about calling the Telangana state formation an 'Utter Nonsense'? Anyway, Andhra is burning and the UPA government's decision to split the state seems a disaster for our party.. Or, you can say that instead of two we will split the state into 20 or 30, so that nobody will be unhappy and most of the leaders can become Chief Ministers..

Rahul : One more 'nonsense' statement ? No baba, no.. Mummy will scold again..
Try something else.. BTW, I need to know what is Telangana issue all about, before speaking..

Diggy : Ok, sir, I will consult the Dirty Tricks Department and come out with a better one soon. I myself would have issued a nasty statement, but then media and the people have stopped taking me seriously now-a-days. Don't worry, We will face this situation as we have done before..

Rahul : Ok, Diggy bhai, let me know when you are ready and Maken should call a press meet and I need to interrupt it.. Or could you find a different style and place to make that statement ?.. In fact, I can take another Train trip in Mumbai or a day out in a slum or a village.. its been long since I did all that and it would make me understand how poor people live in slums or villages.

Maken : Sir, Bombastic idea!.. We will organize it immediately.. I will identify a village, a poor looking family, hut with A/C and food to be catered from a nearby star hotel etc..

Rahul : That's Good.. Ok, guys, catch you soon..


Author : Mushik 

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