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Full meal for Rs.5 ?.. Here is how to get it..

Hearty meal for Rs.5.. (Courtesy : Congress Netas..)

The situation was grim. PM Manmohan Singh looked paler than usual. Holding his hand to his head, sorry, the turban, he sat impatiently. Then arrived Montek Singh, the deputy chairman of planning commission, in his chamber with an even grimmer face.. What might have transpired between them is an interesting imagination and reading it is worth its salt and pepper..

Montek Singh : Good evening, sir.. what's the matter, you look very tense ?..

Manmohan Singh: Then what?.. Where were you?.. I have been waiting for the past four hours for you..

MS : Hi,Hi,Hi.. Sir, I was in my bathroom for which I had spent Rs.28 lakhs of tax payers' money, recently.. It's so cozy in there, once in I don't feel like coming out, sir..

MMS : Hmmm.. You are enjoying there.. Here I am flooded with calls from the assistant of the PA of Madam.. He is yelling at me.. He says Madam, her PA, his car driver and even the tea boy have all lined-up and are cursing us in a single tone..

MS : Why, sir ?.. has the water tap gone dry there ?..

MMS : No, no.. Matter is really 'water tight' for us now.. You see, you released the poverty line report last week.. And the report says the UPA government has brought down poverty in the country from 37% to 22 % in the last 4 years.. It also says that anyone earning Rs.33 per day in a big city like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore etc. is no more poor ?..

MS : Why do you worry for such silly thing, sir ?.. If they want I can reduce the poverty by another 10% right now, its no big deal..

MMS : Montek, be sensitive, at least now.. For all the great work you have done, people are abusing us all over the country, do you know ?.. Even the opposition parties and media people are also stripping our government in front of TV cameras..

MS : Oh, God... But, sir, you know very well that our 'figures' are always perfect.. we regularly watch all figures closely, sir..

MMS : I am not talking about your 'figure' watching.. You talk about the economic figures..

MS : Oh,.. I got it, sir.. But then what wrong did we commit, sir ?.. We only said people who are earning Rs.33 per day in cities like Delhi, Mumbai etc. are no more poor..

MMS : Montek, are you in your senses ?.. Do you think with just Rs.33 per day one can eat at least one meal a day in such cities ?. Even my car driver's assistant says that he can't buy a pair of 'Langots' for less than Rs.60.. So, what people will wear then ?..

MS : Sir, they can go for Tommy Hilfiger, Jockey, Calvin Klein or Van Huesen inner wears, all are global brands. And the less privileged can buy our own Desi brands like Lux or Amul etc.. After globalization and our impressive GDP growth, we have plenty of options, sir..

MMS : Well, Monthek, please, for once come out of your Global mindset and think about this country and how people live here..

MS : Sir, don't think that I do not know the ground reality.. I have seen some pictures of how the poor live in this country in some English movies.. Its not very encouraging.. By the way, my house maid says, if one has to live decently in Delhi or Mumbai, one has to earn at least Rs.500 per day.. If we consider that figure, 90% of the people in this country will fall below poverty line and then how can we bring down poverty in the country, sir?.. That's why we took Rs.33 per day and thus brought down poverty to less than 22% overnight.. I thought the High Command will praise us for our great job..

MMS : Of course, they did praise us initially.. but then, these opposition parties, some economists who have an independent mind, and even media guys are not understanding our constraints, you see.. they are all hammering us for this report calling it ridiculous.. And, adding insult to injury, our Netas like Raj Babbar and Rasheed Masood say that people can get a hearty meal for Rs.12 and Rs.5 in Mumbai and Delhi.. You see, if you eat a meal for Rs.5 Montek, you may have to sit in your toilet the whole day..

MS : Sir, do we have a choice ?.. Most of the wealth of our country has been looted already.. What are we left with ?.. Where is the money to uplift the poor ? More over, general elections are round the corner.. And our bosses think that it will be good if we can come to power for another term.. And even BJP is trying to help us by their internal squabbles and Advani and Co. could be of great use to us..

MMS : You mean, I have to endure more scams and corruption for another five years ?..

MS : Sir, one can't have the cake and eat it too.. How can you expect to be both PM and enjoy power too at the same time ?.. We are Congress, sir.. We practice socialism when it comes to power and post.. Moreover, to be fair to you, where else Madam will find another 'yes man' like you.. so loyal and sincere to her ?..

MMS (Blushing) : Thanks, Montek, for the compliments.. But, coming to the point, what shall we do now to diffuse the tension of Madam ?.. And moreover, our 'Yuvraj' is not aware of the controversy that is raging in the country yet.. and, even if he comes to know about it, perhaps he may not understand it either.. But if someone tutors him, he may also get angry against us..

MS : Well, sir. I realize the gravity of the situation.. We can take on the people, opposition and the media, but not the High Command.. We need to plan out something now..

MMS : That's why you are sitting in the planning commission, isn't it?.. Give some idea..

MS : Bingo!, I got an idea sirji.. Very simple.. Let's call our currency 'Dollar' instead of 'Rupee'.. that will solve all the problems.. People say they can't get a meal for Rs.5, but certainly they can find a wholesome meal for 5 Dollars, isn't it ?.. It will also prove that even beggars in this country pay in dollars for their food.. And that will be a great slogan for us to counter Modi's governance and development slogans in the next elections!..

MMS : Wow!.. For once you said something sensible, Montek!.. It's worth the existence of your department... What a relief!.. Let me call madam's PA's assistance and convey the good news..

And there appeared a faint smile on the face of our PM after a long long time..


Author : Mushik 

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